Posted by: jolantru | July 8, 2009

Wave Four: Nacre

Many magical theories center on self-protection and self-defense, very much like the nacre that shields the sensitive oyster body from external intruders and irritants. Auri and her teachers make sure that self-protection is reinforced, until it is part of conscious and unconscious thinking. For us who have grown up defending ourselves, hiding from others, protection has come naturally as much as the way we breathe or sleep.

Auri feels that I have protected myself to an extreme, that I have cocooned myself from almost everything.

~*~

“Open your senses. Feel.”

This was her stern admonishment to me when she observed my training with a critical eye one morning.

“Why?” I gently came out of my meditative trance, shaking off the vestigial images of sea green and golden fronds.

“Your senses will tell you more things about your environment,” Auri’s lips curved in a wry smile.

“My senses are functioning well enough,” my reply sounded snappish and I wished I had taken them back, for Auri looked at me intently. Surprisingly, she did not become angry.

“You feel like a recluse, wrapped up in too much solitude,” she said quietly. She was wearing cerulean sea stones this time in her hair and she had exchanged her usual brown robe for a light blue. Her color, I thought suddenly and wondered why I had felt pleased about it.

Her words resonated with me. Was I now a recluse? Had I steadily detached myself from human emotions? When did this happen?

~*~

Daughters of the sea are like their Mother – intense, emotional, ever-changing. We celebrate our emotions. We express them freely. What has happened to me?

~*~

When I discovered I could curl light, like the men folk in my village, I was exhilarated. Overjoyed with the new ability coursing in my veins, through my being, like the powerful undercurrents in the sea. The joy transformed into indignant frustration when I was forbidden to do anything with this ability, this gift. All I knew was that everything became secret. Curling light, forming the bright spinning circles, became a secret joy. Perhaps it was from that moment I had begun insulating myself from prying eyes, from knowing looks. From the disapproval shown by many men, including my own birth father. To an adolescent girl, shielding felt like the appropriate response – I had no one to turn to, not even the womenfolk who seemed to agree with the general attitude and consensus towards magic: it was men’s magic and women were not allowed, even though women held higher social positions. I had clearly encroached on the one single privilege given to men and they defended it most ferociously.

The old memories, the bitter ones, make me protect myself even more.

Am I making pearls or awful deformed sea rock? Am I bitter?

And Auri…

Why did I feel joy when I found out about her personal affinity with the color blue? She is at least ten sun-circles older than me and I consider her my old sister, my teacher and mentor. Is it just mere heroine-worship?

I have to ponder on these new feelings emerging forth.

~*~

I have taken to drinking tisanes when I am in a contemplative mood and Lambs Quarter is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to the diverse uses of herbs and flowers.

Tisane Bag

Herbs and flowers of your personal choice, freshly picked. (I prefer chamomile for its calming effects). A handful would be appropriate.
Remember to dry them and when they are sufficiently dried, fill little cloth bags.

Two teaspoonfuls make a good pot of herbal tea.

~*~

I prefer sipping the tea infused with Innerlanders chamomile blooms. It is a new habit, recently adopted when I started living in the City.

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Responses

  1. I’m enjoying the unfolding of the magical path/abilities, as well as the little inserted how-to paragraphs…


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